Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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