I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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