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she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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