Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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