When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
