Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
