Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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