I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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