i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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