yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
