He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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