i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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