i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
