i don't plan on having that self control this summer
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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