Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
