So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
