Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
