you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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