Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
