the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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