there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
