whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
