Can i not drive my cunt home
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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