everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
