i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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