it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
