scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
