I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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