Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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