I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
