I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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