You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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