i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
