Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
