We need to rekindle our bromance
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
