I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
