her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
