so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
