...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
