you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
