it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We left an ass print on the piano.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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