That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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