hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
