sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
