Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
