and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
