i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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