soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
