She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
