How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
