yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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