hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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